In 7th grade, while a student at Pompano Middle School, I was bullied throughout the year. I was little, different, white, a teacher's kid, followed the rules - whatever. I've pretty much believed mostly it was race but really never knew why I was targeted, even hunted through those halls. No one stood up for me. No one protected me. No one helped me. I was almost choked into unconsciousness in the locker room once. I survived. No kid should ever be beaten, abused, and preyed upon just for being in school.
Bully
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Off to War, Almost
January was a busy month. A phone call early in the month from my Army Reserve Commander had me on a plane days later, first to relinquish command at my unit in Florida and then a day later flying to Texas to undergo validation training in preparation for departure to Afghanistan less than two weeks later. A unit's commander days away from departure might not be able to go and I was the relief pitcher called in for the game. This had the whole family scrambling.
The reserves operate on a scheduled basis now for most units, and I was not scheduled this year for deployment. This phone call came as a surprise and was an exceptional opportunity, yet was also fraught with issues. My wife is pregnant, due in June. That very week I was deep into final edits for a book due to publish this month in time for the San Francisco Writers' Conference. I was actually in process of transferring units from the Florida battalion to one local in California. Everything came to a sudden stop. Well, not everything, the wife is still expecting in June.
My change of command at the Florida unit was sped up a month. This meant that no family or friends were there, due to scheduling no higher headquarters commander to officiate even in attendance. My Command Sergeant Major made sure to tell me the "award and farewell token would be in the mail". I was in Florida less than 36 hours and sadly unable to see family there as I was at the unit or at the airport most of the time.
In Texas, I went through lots of training while waiting to hear if I would actually be needed. In the end, I came home and three days later the unit departed with its original commander, the issues of concern, injury or illness worked out. I'd lost about ten days of work. But in the process, my wife had to take a week off work also, in order to help with the prep work done in anticipation for my sudden year long deployment. This was a wake up call for there were legal documents to prepare, medical documentation to find and the Bug would have to go into preschool most of the week instead of her two days a week. Stuff not on the radar with no deployment expected this year. How would the other mommy also deal with being home, alone with a toddler and pregnant? Thankfully, because of the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, I anticipated that when delivery was soon, I'd be able to be up front and request emergency leave to go home for the birth of my child. What I'm still not able to do though because of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is actually list the wife as spouse on the various documents that among other things, determine who decides disposition of remains in event of death, who gets my benefits in event of death and who is notified in event of death. Think about that. She's listed on those forms as "friend." She's listed as the "designated person" since my two year old certainly can't be notified.
Do you think a "friend" or "designated person" is accorded the same respect and care that a spouse is when two uniformed individuals come to the door to notify of a service member's death in service? For that matter, is a friend or designated person even accorded that courtesy or do they just receive a phone call? That's a good question and I've no idea who can answer it.
I'm 52 years old. My mother died at age 49. I'm a little conscious of my mortality these days and especially when thinking I'm days away from departing for a warzone for a year, leaving my pregnant wife and our toddler. The Defense of Marriage Act prevents my Spouse from receiving the proper acknowledgement, care, and concern from representatives of the "grateful nation" that is due when a Soldier dies in service.
New book No Red Pen - Writers, Writing Groups, & Critique e-Book on smashwords or on Amazon.
San Francisco Writers Conference
The reserves operate on a scheduled basis now for most units, and I was not scheduled this year for deployment. This phone call came as a surprise and was an exceptional opportunity, yet was also fraught with issues. My wife is pregnant, due in June. That very week I was deep into final edits for a book due to publish this month in time for the San Francisco Writers' Conference. I was actually in process of transferring units from the Florida battalion to one local in California. Everything came to a sudden stop. Well, not everything, the wife is still expecting in June.
My change of command at the Florida unit was sped up a month. This meant that no family or friends were there, due to scheduling no higher headquarters commander to officiate even in attendance. My Command Sergeant Major made sure to tell me the "award and farewell token would be in the mail". I was in Florida less than 36 hours and sadly unable to see family there as I was at the unit or at the airport most of the time.
In Texas, I went through lots of training while waiting to hear if I would actually be needed. In the end, I came home and three days later the unit departed with its original commander, the issues of concern, injury or illness worked out. I'd lost about ten days of work. But in the process, my wife had to take a week off work also, in order to help with the prep work done in anticipation for my sudden year long deployment. This was a wake up call for there were legal documents to prepare, medical documentation to find and the Bug would have to go into preschool most of the week instead of her two days a week. Stuff not on the radar with no deployment expected this year. How would the other mommy also deal with being home, alone with a toddler and pregnant? Thankfully, because of the repeal of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, I anticipated that when delivery was soon, I'd be able to be up front and request emergency leave to go home for the birth of my child. What I'm still not able to do though because of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is actually list the wife as spouse on the various documents that among other things, determine who decides disposition of remains in event of death, who gets my benefits in event of death and who is notified in event of death. Think about that. She's listed on those forms as "friend." She's listed as the "designated person" since my two year old certainly can't be notified.
Do you think a "friend" or "designated person" is accorded the same respect and care that a spouse is when two uniformed individuals come to the door to notify of a service member's death in service? For that matter, is a friend or designated person even accorded that courtesy or do they just receive a phone call? That's a good question and I've no idea who can answer it.
I'm 52 years old. My mother died at age 49. I'm a little conscious of my mortality these days and especially when thinking I'm days away from departing for a warzone for a year, leaving my pregnant wife and our toddler. The Defense of Marriage Act prevents my Spouse from receiving the proper acknowledgement, care, and concern from representatives of the "grateful nation" that is due when a Soldier dies in service.
New book No Red Pen - Writers, Writing Groups, & Critique e-Book on smashwords or on Amazon.
San Francisco Writers Conference
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